Life has been busier than ever lately. Some of it was expected and some of it took us by surprise. Last month's Dyed To Order Update has kept our minds and hands occupied, which is just what we needed. I'm very confident that I should be able to have all remaining orders in the mail by next week, we're so close to wrapping it all up! I'm going to miss having an office overflowing with gorgeous speckled skeins! All the more reason to wrap this up and move on with the next update/excuse for me to play around with beautiful yarn. Thanks for making this my job guys, really, I love it so much!
I shared a few very personal things over on my Instagram account last week. I often battle with just how much of myself I want to share online, knowing where to draw the line can be tough. For years I've struggled personally with infertility. When I first found out that I would never be able to have children naturally I was devastated (obviously). A very close friend of mine suggested that I open up about it on the blog, that it might help to share, and at the time I thought that I would never, EVER, be able to do that. Nothing that anyone could say would help. Everything stung. Even the well meaning comments (and they're all well meaning, nobody sets out to hurt to infertile lady) were a reminder of my pain. I don't know what changed last week, but all of a sudden I felt like I was ready to share a little bit about my story. Infertility is so heavy. I think that I was probably ready to talk about it a few years ago but I couldn't figure out how to bring it up gracefully. A blog post titled "I'm infertile"? I couldn't think of a way to say everything I felt I had to say about what it's like to not be able to conceive in one blog post. So I didn't, and instead I did a short but precise Instagram post about it. And it feels amazing! The comments, the feedback, I get so overwhelmed with positivity every time I think about that one little post. Sharing is amazing.
One of the main reasons I wanted to share my fertility issues is because I know that from the outside it looks like I've got it real easy. I had my first baby at 28 years old, 2 years later, right on schedule I had my second baby. It certainly didn't look like I was having a hard time. In my case I was lucky that I found out that I would never be able to conceive naturally very young (I was 27). In my case I was also VERY lucky that there was just one very specific issue (a fallopian tube issue and I ended up having surgery to have them removed. Without fallopian tubes there is zero chance of getting pregnant naturally) and once the fallopian tubes were removed I was a very good candidate for IVF. In the grand scheme of infertility, I consider myself very lucky.
I could go on and on about the ups and downs (we've experienced a lot of both) and how we've dealt with it all but right now I just felt like I wanted to put it out there and that's enough. We're still trying to grow our family and this year things haven't been working out quite as easily, but we're still trying. It involves lots of doctors appointments, ultrasounds, needles, procedures... but it's all worth it. I'm not ready to give up just because it's hard. Mentally it takes up a lot of space, and it deserves to. Knitting helps. ;)
On Monday June 12th Chris and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. We weren't able to do anything special, we didn't even get to snap our annual photo, but hopefully things will settle down and we'll be able to make it up this weekend. Chris summed it up pretty perfectly in his instagram post:
7 years ago today... we had a clean house and ate in restaurants. We really messed that up, but I've never been happier in my life.
Yup, that's us!